Born This Way

I’ve had a lot of people tell me in the last week that they can really see a difference in the way that I look. I’ve been fixing my hair more and wearing more makeup and in general just feeling prettier. I’ve begun to see myself in a different light and I’m liking what I’m seeing more and more each day. It’s hard to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and not recognize the person that is standing before you. Before I began my weight loss journey, I didn’t like to look at that person because she seemed like a stranger to me. I finally think the real me is emerging.

This week’s episode of Glee really hit home to me. “Born This Way” was all about accepting yourself for who you are. **Semi-Spoiler alert** Emma Pillsbury comes to terms with her OCD, Dave Karofsky apologizes to Kurt and the Glee Club for bullying, and it’s revealed that Quinn wasn’t always so perfect. Because of this, I started thinking a lot about if I stopped losing weight right now, could I truly accept myself. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think that I could.

First of all, I’m not comfortable enough with myself to share my weight with the world. Is it because I’m ashamed? Well, frankly, yeah. I’m ashamed of what I let myself become. I never was a very active child or teen, but in recent years I lived such a sedentary lifestyle and was ordering out almost every night of the week. It was my actions (or lack thereof) that caused me to gain weight.  I got to thinking about what Santana said: “If you don’t like something about yourself, then change it.” That’s exactly what I’m doing, though it’s through non-surgical means. I wasn’t born fat. I became overweight, and then obese, over time. Unhealthy, fat Tasha is not the real Tasha. It’s taken me awhile to realize it, but I’m glad that I finally have.

I met my mom for Easter dinner at our favorite place in Morehead, KY which is half-way for us. She told me that she was proud of me what what I’d been able to accomplish thus far. And she said that while I should I have listened to her in the first place and done this a long time ago, she’s glad that I’ve taken it upon myself to turn my life around. She told me that she was very scared for me and I guess I never really admitted it, but I was scared too. I was so unhealthy and I was afraid of dying young. Now, while I might not be the healthiest I can be yet, I’m much better than I was before and a lot of my risks have decreased.

I’ve been bad this week, though. I didn’t go to the gym at all and maxed out my points every day. I’m going to do a lot better next week, but for now I take comfort in the fact that I am being the change I wish to see. I will see my true self emerge some day.

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Friend Makin’ Monday: Today I…

Friend Makin’ Monday is a meme from Kenz at All The Weigh.
If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section of this post so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!
FMM: Today I….

Today I felt… happy that I’m wearing a shirt that I bought when I was a senior in high school.

Today I saw… my best friend and her boyfriend when I picked her up for work.

Today I ate… a 6″ ham and pepperjack sandwich and some BBQ chips from Subway.

Today I kissed… no one.

Today I bought… nothing aside from my lunch.

Today I heard… a second grader say that he had light sabers for arms.

Today I lost… Actually I didn’t lose anything today.

Today I decided… that I definitely have to get back to the gym hardcore this week.

Today I need… to finish up my laundry and move on to cleaning my apartment in preparation for my mother and grandmother visiting next week.

Today I wish… that we could actually sit out on the patio when we go get dinner tonight. I’m so sick of all of this rain!

Now it’s your turn to share your answers! Don’t forget to come back and leave a link in the comments!

Satisfaction

A few weeks ago I wrote about my goals of being able to wear certain pieces of clothing from my wardrobe. It’s been several years since I was able to wear a few pairs of jeans and khakis as well as most of my fitted dress shirts and some sweaters. On Sunday afternoon, I decided to check out a sale at Avenue. Sadly, their supply of jeans was limited, but I was able to find a new pair of jeans! They’re also skinny jeans, a style that I’ve never worn before. I’m very pleased with the purchase and I hope they get some more jeans in soon.

My friend Kendra invited me to a Girl’s Night Out at Lane Bryant last night. Everything in the store was 30% so I bought a new pair of jeans there too! Denim can be incredibly hard to shop for. I find that it’s easier to buy a pair of jeans if they’ve got the spandex in them, but I was happy to report that the Lane Bryant jeans are purely denim and still fit! I’m so excited that I am able to shop at regular plus size stores. For awhile, I was afraid that I wouldn’t even be able to find things at stores that go beyond regular plus sizes.

I went to the gym Sunday night, but haven’t been any more this week. I’ve been doing laundry and cleaning my apartment like a mad woman in preparation for my mom and grandma’s visit on May 3 and 4. My ultimate goal is to create a schedule where I can block out time for all of my daily tasks whether it be working out, cleaning, or whatever. I’ve stuck to my no-soda rule, but made the mistake of not ordering unsweetened tea at Buffalo Wild Wings the other night. I definitely learned my lesson there. I’m not sure how my weigh-in will turn out on Saturday, but I’m still riding my high from last week.

While I’m satisfied with my progress thus far, I know that I still have a long way to go. Even with 49 pounds lost, I still want to lose at least 150 more. I’m just 2 pounds shy of my 15% goal on Weight Watchers, so hopefully I’ll be able to get that this week. I’m also just 3 weeks away from my 16 week Stay and Succeed award. It gives me a sincere sense of accomplishment that I’ve stuck with things this long. I know that this isn’t an easy road, but I am prepared to face it head on and I have a strong support system.

Friend Makin’ Mondays: The Grocery Store

Friend Makin’ Mondays is a meme from Kenz at All The Weigh.

“Now it’s time for Friend Makin’ Mondays! If you’ve taken part in FMM then you know the rules. If you’re new, please take a moment to answer this week’s question on your own blog then add your link in the comments section of this post so we can all see your FMM questions and answers. The idea is to connect with other awesome bloggers so take a moment to post your own FMM post and comment on a couple of other posts. Now it’s time for this week’s topic!”


FMM: The Grocery Store

1. Do you make a list when you go grocery shopping? Do you stick to it?  Because of my limited budget, I HAVE to make lists and stick to them. It is a rare occasion when I go to the store and splurge on something.

2. Do you buy more groceries when you’re hungry?  I’ve made the mistake of going to the grocery store hungry. It’s not a pretty sight. And yes, I have bought more groceries when I’ve gone to the store hungry.

3. Coupons. Use ’em?  I like the coupons that Kroger sends me in the mail for free items as well as clipping coupons from the newspaper. I do not usually buy a newspaper for coupons though.

4. Have you ever complained to the manager of your grocery store?  Nope.

5. Do you like to buy groceries at huge chain stores like Wal-Mart and Target? Or do you shop exclusively at food stores?  Like I said before, I have a very limited budget. I find myself buying more groceries at Walmart now, though Kroger is close enough to my apartment than I can walk there with ease. (Well, before, I couldn’t have walked there with ease, but I can now!) Walmart is generally cheaper, but I shop at Kroger if there are good sales or I absolutely do not want to drive to Walmart.

6. How much time do you spend reading labels in the grocery store?  I use my Weight Watchers iPhone app like crazy.

7. Do you push your own grocery cart to the car and return it? If my order is small, then I’ll carry a basket, otherwise I use one of the little basket carts at Kroger.

8. What is the one food item you always buy at the grocery store that you must have in the kitchen? I like having grapes and bananas in stock. Now that I have discovered them, I cannot get enough of Sandwich Thins.

9. Do you enjoy grocery shopping? I didn’t before, but I do now. I like trying new things.

10. How often do you shop for groceries? I tend to shop every few days. I’ve decided, though, to premake a lot of food for convenience and just go out for things like eggs, milk, etc.

My Moment of Zen

Today’s meeting was all about finding time for yourself. I live by myself, I have “me time” almost constantly, but I am finding that my true me time is when I’m at the gym. I love going with my best friend, but even then we’re doing our own things. She’s developed a love for the bicycle while I prefer the treadmill. Our fitness plans are different and that’s okay. That’s why, I’ve decided that when I am on the treadmill or doing my weight training, I am centering myself. All of the outside influences just fade away and it’s just me. I become one with myself and the music that I’m listening to. I find my focus. I quite literally go to my happy place.

Last week, I had a bad weigh-in. The scale said that I’d gained nearly 6 pounds. I had lost my focus. I started drinking sodas and, admittedly, I drank a lot. I didn’t eat as healthily as I could have and ditched the diet in favor of chips and queso and McDonald’s. Oh, and there was definitely some alcohol thrown into the mix last Friday night. So, when I stepped on the scale on Saturday morning, it read that I’d gained 5.8 pounds. I was a tad shocked, but then everything made sense. My focus began to shift back to where it needed to be: my ultimate goal of this healthy lifestyle. That’s not to say that I can’t have a couple of drinks with friends and have a good time, but I know that I’m going to have to track any alcohol just like I would food. It’s liquid fat, for real.

This week, I went to the gym three times and followed the fitness training plan that I got when I had my personal training session a few weeks ago. I increased my speed when I walked, I did all of the weight training machines that I was supposed to and even did some high intensity cardio to finish the session up. I even got a bit of hot tub and swimming time in mid-week. By Friday, I was feeling great and am still feeling great today I have completely given up soda once more and have chosen water and the occasional decaf unsweetened tea instead.

My efforts have paid off, most assuredly.

Today’s Weigh-in: -11.4 pounds

Total weight loss on Weight Watchers (since 2/12): -17.4 pounds

Total weight loss since 11/4/2010: -49 pounds

I’ve lost a first grader!

When I said that to my mom, she was like, “Say what?!” since I work with kids, but I said, “My weight! I’ve lost the equivalent of a first grader!”

I didn’t expect much going into today’s weigh-in. I’ve been tracking, but hadn’t exercised since Monday. I’ve been drinking water, but have had some soda too. I was thinking a pound, if that. I cautiously stepped on the scale and found that I’d lost 4 pounds! That took me to a total of 11.6 pounds lost on Weight Watchers! I got another 5 pound star and am so excited! I think I’ve definitely got momentum now.

That’s the only real news to report, but I did want to mention one thing. I think everyone who is on a weight loss journey has a piece of clothing that fitting into again would signify a huge milestone. I have a couple of pieces like that: a pair of jeans and a shirt. A lot of jeans that you can buy at Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, etc, have some Lycra or Spandex in them. Even with that, the pair of jeans that I desire to wear again just do not fit. I’m excited for the day that they do, however. The other piece is this blouse.

I haven’t worn it in a few years and I absolutely love it. It’s a fitted shirt, so there’s really not any give to it. I tried it on today and we’re almost there! My goal is for it to button completely, but being able to wear it comfortably with a tank underneath would be great too.

So, today’s weigh-in puts me at:
-11.6 pounds since February 12, 2011 (average 1.7 pounds weekly) — On Weight Watchers
-42.8 pounds since November 4, 2010 — Last doctor’s appointment

I think I’m definitely on a roll.

It’s a good thing

I apologize for getting off track with my weekly update posts. I also plan on making one of those My Fitness Pal charts to track my weight loss in this journey. Last week, I decided to try something new: I wouldn’t eat all of my points. I get a lot. It just seemed like eating all of my points on PointsPlus was going to be a huge struggle. Okay, eating healthy things to accumulate my points would be a struggle. Remember that crazy point burger from Red Robin? Not going to eat that every day. So, I decided that I would attempt to cut back on my point values by around 20. That’s how it worked out, at least.

Kroger had those Smart Ones on sale as part of the Buy 10 get $5 deal, so I bought 10. I ended up spending $15 for them total because of the $5 deal. PS Meijer has them on sale this week for 5 for $9. That makes them $1.80 a piece and with the $3 off coupon from the Weight Watchers Weekly or the Smart Ones website, you will save an additional $.30 which will bring the price down to $1.50. Not too bad. I plan on getting some before the sale is up this weekend.

After a couple of weeks of discouragement, I kicked myself into overdrive. I joined the gym and went 4 times last week. I drank lots of water and generally just kept a high outlook. As a result, I lost 2.8 pounds! This week, I’ve slacked off a little, though I went to the gym on Sunday and Monday. I met with a personal trainer and he gave me a recommended plan that I intend to follow.

My weight loss from Saturday completely made up for what I’d gained and I’m happy to be back on track. Continuing to drink a lot of water and track my points will help in this, I’m sure. As always, I appreciate all of the support and love that everyone has continued to show me.

Before I close, some of my friends are participating in the Run the Bluegrass Half Marathon this weekend. Krissie, Nathan and Emily will be running and walking and I’m SO excited for them. I hope the weather holds out and it’s not an absolute soaker like it was last year.

Oh! I do have something that I want to announce. After having dinner with Krissie last night and getting some feedback, I’ve decided that I want to walk in a 5k! If my schedule permits, I will do the Run by the River in June, but I for sure will do the Turkey Trot in Downtown Russell on Thanksgiving morning and the Southern Lights Stroll. I think it’ll be really fun! For the Turkey Trot, the entry fee is a canned food donation, so it’ll be really great to make a donation to the Helping Hands food bank in Greenup.

Keep positive and I love you all!

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